It has been a pattern in my life to lure people in. I have figured out for my self that being a victim gets me what I need with a minimal work...Oh did I mentiona I practice laziness occasionally???? HaHaHa! I have been brought to the awareness this is only a temporary solution. Not only is it a temporary solution, but it never feeds the beast sufficiently. So I am left even more empty than when I began.
Today I am learning to love others, although it feels foreign most of the time. I am believing in the encouragement and experience of those who come before me. Every once in awhile I feel the freedom they talk about, it is enough to keep me moving forward. I am a work in progress today, not an old vhs tape that is losing value by the minute, tehehehehe.
This process is not going to happen over night. It happens over time. I have had that drilled into my head over the last year. Now, only after I have chosen to walk away from the person that brought me that message, do I truly hear it. That kind of makes me sad...
Only God knows how long I was meant to be in your life. What I wish today and want more than anything, is to leave you with a sense of happiness and gratitude that we were on the same road. I do not want to leave any more destruction in my path. I want to pay attention today, to really hear you, whom ever you are that is walking with me at any given moment.
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